Minutes of family meeting, January 2011
Venue: Kitchen table
Time: Dinner time
Present: Lady of the house (hereinafter referred to as LOH), man of the house (hereinafter referred to as MOH), daughter number one (hereinafter referred to as One) and daughter number two (hereinafter referred to as Two).
Apologies: none.
Sole item on the agenda: How to make our mornings smoother and get LOH, One and Two out the door in time for school without LOH shouting herself hoarse.
LOH opened proceedings by outlining the current state of affairs for the benefit of all present.
Previously successful system: One and Two following the items on their chart (see figure 1), with assistance where needed, in a prompt and efficient manner.
Figure 1
Current system: Excessive amounts of dawdling on the part of One, only surpassed by the tortoise-like dawdling of Two, repeated toilet trips by Two, general forgetting of school books and other items by One and Two, and incessant nagging and shouting by LOH.
Result: One stressed mother and two stressed children running out the door at the last possible minute and arriving at school hassled and fed up. LOH arriving home at 8.50am feeling like she has done a day’s work already.
One and Two agreed with LOH’s version of events.
MOH wished to have it noted in the minutes that said situation was having a negative impact on his work from home days. LOH acknowledged that standing at the bottom of the stairs shouting, ‘Two, get down here now, you couldn’t possibly need to go to the toilet again’ was not conducive to a positive working environment.
LOH threw the discussion open to the floor, asking if One and Two had any suggestions as to how the situation could be improved. Neither were forthcoming.
LOH proposed a motion that One and Two should get up ten minutes earlier. Two felt this was a good idea. One disagreed, expressing her belief that she would be too tired if she had to get up ten minutes earlier. MOH suggested that this could be overcome by going to bed ten minutes earlier. One was unimpressed with this intervention.
LOH suggested a compromise, whereby One and Two would get up five minutes earlier. This solution was acceptable to all and the motion was unanimously carried.
LOH then suggested that it should not take Two more than thirty minutes to consume a bowl of Sultana Bran. Two agreed to attempt an accelerated eating programme.
LOH further suggested that Two should avail of the toilet facilities either before or after said meal, but not both. Two felt this was an unreasonable request. It was agreed to review this item at a later date.
The family all felt it had been a most productive meeting and agreed to make a special effort to implement the new regime as of the following morning. The meeting was then adjourned for dessert.
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